have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
