3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
