For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
