once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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