i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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