she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
