...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Randomize
