I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
