I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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