question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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