You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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