theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
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