another moral hangover. fuck.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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