her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
