He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Randomize
