they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
this hospital has no fireball
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
