Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
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