Me. At least after what I've been through.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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