two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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