Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
