You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Randomize
