toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
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