Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Randomize
