I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
