69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
