what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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