Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
