so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
