remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
