You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
