he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Even my vagina gasped.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
