I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
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