its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
