Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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