My nipple is on Facebook.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
