I molested 6 butterflies tonight
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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