I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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