sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
