you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
