the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
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