But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
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