when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
