Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
