he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
