YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
