We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
