The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
