He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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