i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
