Whod you bang
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
