You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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