The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
