I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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