oh god the rape fog is back!
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize
