Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
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