He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
