before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
two words...techno handjob
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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