I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
