Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
