What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
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