He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
